Quantum Fluctuations (Norman Costa)
WARP SPEED NEUTRINOS
Neutrino detector: You're early. When did you leave?
Neutrino: In about 5 minutes.
Neutrino: Do what?
Neutrino detector: How did you do that?
NEUTRINO DETECTORS ARE DEEP UNDERGROUND, SUBMERSED IN WATER.
Water molecule: What's going on?
Neutrino detector: Nothing.
Water molecule: You look like you're standing around waiting for something to happen.
Neutrino detector: Yup!
Neutrino 1: Nice day to travel.
Neutrino 2: Sure is.
Neutrino 1: I could do this forever.
Neutrino 2: Yeah, me too.
Neutrino 1: You see how cleanly we passed through Mars?
Neutrino 2: Like a hot knife through butter.
Neutrino 1: Imagine, the chance of this trip being interrupted is so infinitesimally small.
Neutrino 2: You got that right.
Neutrino 1: In fact, you could...BAM...Son of a bitch!
Supervisor of neutrino detector crew: OK, who's the joker who released a bunch of fire flies in here?
MORE QUANTUM RELATIVITY
Observer 1: Your time is dilating.
Observer 2: No. Your time is dilating.
Observer 1: Not from where I'm standing.
Paradox Twin 1: You've aged.
Paradox Twin 2: No, you've aged.
Paradox Twin 1: Excuse me? You're older.
Paradox Twin 2: No, excuse me, old man.
"Time, time, time is on my side, yes it is."
Recorded in 1964 by Mick Jagger in anticipation of the 60th anniversary of Special Relativity the following year.