Accidental Blogger

"Affordable housing has to go somewhere."

Never mind that in Marin County, California one can qualify for affordable housing with an income of $88,800. Some residents worried that George Lucas' original plans would “pose a serious and alarming threat to the nature of our valley and our community,” “dwarf the average Costco warehouse” and generate light pollution so that “our dark starry skies would be destroyed.”  But now that Lucas' proposed new plan has been revealed, the denizens of this exclusive neighborhood are beginning to see stars during day light hours. The famed director, the richest resident of Marin County, is being blamed for inciting class warfare by his neighbors.

 

Fighting fear with fear

Not so different from fighting poison with poison. Here.

Let us orate on the dignity of plant (prasad)

Just stumbled upon this marvelously loopy interview with the head of a Swiss Federal Ethics Committee. Said committee issued guidelines in 2008 pertaining to the dignity of plants. In Switzerland it is now permissible to harm plants, say for agriculture, but not to cause them arbitrary harm. An example of the latter: consider someone who casually decapitates some wildflowers on the road side.

The issue has come about because Swiss lawmakers and citizens were worried about the potential dangers of genetic technologies, and passed a law requiring that the dignity of creatures be considered in research. Unfortunately, they seem not to have adequately considered that plants are quite creaturely in their own way. Hence guidelines about how you might respect plant dignity, in research and more broadly. Nature went to the trouble of writing an editorial - as you might expect, plant biologists in Switzerland are flummoxed.

Nerd sweat, conservation of (prasad)

The total amount of nerditude in the universe is fixed; it can only be converted from one form into another.

Ugly Renaissance Babies

Believe it or not there is a blog devoted entirely to this unusual subject. The comments accompanying the images may be on the juvenile side but the paintings are real.

More than a decade ago, my sister and I suffered from paroxysms of hysterical laughter in front of a Biblical painting containing an incongruously mature looking Baby Jesus in Mary's lap. The infant reminded us of an adult of our acquaintance. Our faces red and tears running down our cheeks by the efforts to suppress the hilarity we attracted the attention of a museum guard nearby who looked askance at our unseemly behavior. We evaded eviction by quickly moving on to another gallery.

There may be a cultural / religious explanation for why indeed some of the babies in Madonna paintings were  so homely. I do not know and neither does the blogger as is clear from the following comment on page 3.

chicagonorth asked: it's inaccurate to call this "ugly Renaissance babies," because most of the images are from Byzantine/Medieval/Proto-Renaissance periods...

This is very true! Though, in our defense, a blog called “Ugly Byzantine/Medieval/Proto-Renaissance Babies” doesn’t really have the same ring to it.

Regardless of the specifics, I think we can all agree that ugly babies are both timeless and hilarious.

Perhaps someone with knowledge of this artistic phenomenon will leave an explanation in the comments section. (link via Anna Levine)

 

'Pepper Spray Cop' of UC Davis goes back in time to make things right (Norman Costa)

Time Travel News Network (TTNN): Thursday, November 24, 2011, 0200 hours EST

'Pepper Spray Cop' of UC Davis goes back in time to make things right (Norman Costa)

Scientists are hailing the 'first of its kind' opportunity to go back in time and undo a terrible mistake. Lt. John Pike, now known as the infamous 'Pepper Spray Cop of U.C. Davis,' went back in time to change the way he handled the breakup of a peaceful student protest. It was not something he planned on, but, a freak accident gave him the opportunity for a do-over, and be the first human to travel back in time.

Immediately after Pike was suspended, he fled to Europe to avoid the press and aggressive process servers. Quickly, he got a job as a security guard at a scientific research lab in Switzerland. The accident happened on Wednesday, November 23, 2011 at 1650 hours, GMT. He walked into an area where neutrino research was underway. Officer Pike thought he was going into a utility room for HVAC. He walked directly in front of a massively energized neutrino beam and vanished from sight.

Two days ago Lt. John Pike gave a press conference to explained what happened today. He said he was dazed for a short time before realizing he had traveled back in time to about 3 days before the pepper straying incident at UC Davis. He went to an airport, immediately, to fly back to Davis. After a complication regarding his frequent flier miles – he hadn't yet flown from California to Switzerland so his mileage had not been recorded – he was issued a ticket and flew home. 

We at TTNN received a video tape, three days ago, of Pike's 're-do' of handling the protest. We were stunned when we saw it, and we concluded it was a some kind of hoax and threw it out, but not before transcribing the audio. With the benefit of hindsight – actually time travel – we changed our minds and will now read the transcript of the audio portion.

May I have your attention. I am Lt. John Pike, Supervising Officer of the Security Police at UC Davis. My officers and I are a legitimate law enforcement and peace keeping force under the Constitution of the State of California. We have the same powers of arrest, enforcement, and investigation that other police units have in California. 

We respect and will protect your rights to protest and assembly. However, some of you are blocking a passage that is usually used for pedestrian traffic for members of the university and others. You can continue your peaceful demonstration 15 yards in that direction, and avoid blocking other people who are exercising their rights to come and go on this campus.

My superior in the University Administration directed me to clear the pedestrian traffic areas blocked by this demonstration. I am empowered to give you a lawful order to move out of the pedestrian traffic flow. Before I have to do that, I am asking you to move, of your own accord, 15 yards to your right. If you do not, then I have the legal authority to order you to disperse. If you do not obey a lawful order from the police, you are subject to physical removal by my officers, and being arrested. 

…

I am now giving you a lawful order, for the third time, to disperse and clear the pedestrian traffic area. In a moment I will give my officers the order to clear you from the area. Before I do that, I want to tell you how it is going to work. First, there will be no use of tear gas, pepper spray, billy clubs or truncheons. You have not been violent, so there is no need for us to use that kind of force. The officers will separate you, one at a time, handcuff you, and take you to a staging area over there. You will be photographed, and then issued an appearance summons. That means you must appear before a judge and explain yourself. After a period of time you will be released from your handcuffs and you will be free to go.

If you do not release your arm locks with each other, my officers will have to use physical force to separate you. We do not wish to cause you harm, and I do not want any harm to come to my officers. However, my officers will have to pry your arms and fingers loose. We will not use any more force than is necessary. When my officers approach you they will tap you on the shoulder. That is your command to release your hold, stand up, and go with the officer to the staging area. If you do not respond to this command then the officers will pry you loose and take you forcefully.

If you struggle against my officers, or you attempt to use any force on them, they will subdue you on the spot, put you to the ground, cuff you, and you will be arrested and brought to jail. We do not want to do this. We appreciate that you have been peaceful in your protest. This is your last chance to remove yourself from the pedestrian traffic area.

…

Officers, clear the protesters from this area and take them into custody as planned.

So there you have it – two of the strangest confrontations of police and protesters in history, and in history. There was another complication in this matter, one that pleased the many arrested protesters. Yesterday was the first day of the scheduled hearings before a judge. The court was thrown into disarray and confusion for most of the session. The one-time protesters presented their appearance tickets, but there was nothing on the docket, and there were no records of the summonses being issued. A number of UC Davis police officers were called into court to verify the arrests. The surprised officers could not recall making any arrests on the day in question. This went on for several more days until all 87 arrested protesters presented themselves in court. The judge sent everyone home.

 

Catvertising

A brilliant idea : (courtesy Elatia Harris)

NYC Mayor Bloomberg Clears Out Wall Street Executives (Norman Costa)

NYC Mayor Bloomberg Clears Out Wall Street Executives (Norman Costa)

Future News Network (FNN), December 5, 2011, 6:35 pm EST: 

New York City Mayor, Michael R. Bloomberg, defended his decision to clear out the top executives of the finance, banking, insurance, and investment companies who have a presence in the Wall Street area of lower Manhattan. 

At a press conference that ended only moments ago, Mayor Bloomberg justified the raids on corporate offices that began this morning at 10:00 am, EST. 

Over 600 middle and upper level executives were expelled from their offices, with approximately 387 being arrested for a variety of charges including disorderly conduct, refusal to comply with a lawful order, and assaulting a police officer.

Twelve police officers and as many as 32 executives were taken to local hospitals for injuries related to the police operation, and at least one police officer is in serious condition after being struck in the face with an executive's Stueben Glass award statue that was on her desk.

One week ago Bloomberg released a statement apologizing for ordering the expulsion of peaceful OWS demonstrators from Zuccotti Park in lower Manhattan in the early morning hours of November 15, 2011.

He said he had, "...and epiphanial moment, and personal spiritual awakening, after realizing that the demonstrators were the real victims, and that the perpetrators of suffering and loss for the entire country were unscrupulous, immoral, and greedy corporate executives."

The Mayor went on to say that, "...corporate America, as a whole, contributes greatly to our society and economy, but these leeches want all the blood they can get their hands on, even if they don't need it."

When questioned about the legality of ordering the raids on executive offices, Bloomberg said he was taking a moral stand against the kind of greed that inflicts suffering on so many people.

Mayor Bloomberg refused to comment about learning, two weeks ago, that four of his grand nieces and nephews were ruined by the financial collapse, and that one had committed suicide, leaving a widow and three orphans.

Did You Ever Notice? (Norman Costa)

Did You Ever Notice? (Norman Costa) 

Did you ever notice how he could uncover conspiracies like the placement of soap dishes in a shower so that the water spray would hasten its disappearance?

Why is it that he could get me to stay for all of "60 Minutes" so I could listen to his complaining?

How come he was the only writer to notice that the coffee in a coffee can weighs less and less while the can stays the same size?

I guess it's one of those mysteries of the universe that scientists keep telling us about. If you ask me, I think it's the scientists that are the mysterious ones.

Good bye, Andy Rooney.

Read more HERE:

Quantum Fluctuations (Norman Costa)

Quantum Fluctuations (Norman Costa)

 

WARP SPEED NEUTRINOS

Neutrino detector: You're early. When did you leave?
Neutrino: In about 5 minutes.

Neutrino: Do what?
Neutrino detector: How did you do that?

mc^2 E=
 

 NEUTRINO DETECTORS ARE DEEP UNDERGROUND, SUBMERSED IN WATER.

Water molecule: What's going on? 
Neutrino detector: Nothing.
Water molecule: You look like you're standing around waiting for something to happen.
Neutrino detector: Yup!

Neutrino 1: Nice day to travel.
Neutrino 2: Sure is.
Neutrino 1: I could do this forever.
Neutrino 2: Yeah, me too.
Neutrino 1: You see how cleanly we passed through Mars?
Neutrino 2: Like a hot knife through butter.
Neutrino 1: Imagine, the chance of this trip being interrupted is so infinitesimally small.
Neutrino 2: You got that right.
Neutrino 1: In fact, you could...BAM...Son of a bitch!

Supervisor of neutrino detector crew: OK, who's the joker who released a bunch of fire flies in here?
 

MORE QUANTUM RELATIVITY

Observer 1: Your time is dilating.
Observer 2: No. Your time is dilating.
Observer 1: Not from where I'm standing.

Paradox Twin 1: You've aged.
Paradox Twin 2: No, you've aged.
Paradox Twin 1: Excuse me? You're older.
Paradox Twin 2: No, excuse me, old man.

"Time, time, time is on my side, yes it is."
Recorded in 1964 by Mick Jagger in anticipation of the 60th anniversary of Special Relativity the following year.

Putting Rick "Goodhair" Perry in a moral bind...

 (Courtesy: People Against Glenn Beck, The Tea Party and Hate Speech) h/t:Angel Rivera

Quantum Relativity (Norman Costa)

Quantum Relativity (Norman Costa)

Spouse arrives home: Honey, my wave function just collapsed.

Beginning of a poem: I shot an arrow into the future.

Q. Where will you be?
A. Here, there, and everywhere.

Mr. Time: What are you trying to do? You know you cannot reach the speed of light.
Mr. Velocity: Just slow down, will you.

Mr. Length: Hey! You are never going to get to the speed of light.
Mr. Velocity: Don't get short with me.

Mother and daughter speak simultaneously.
Mother: I know you took my best silk blouse to wear tonight, so put it back in my closet.
Daughter: I hate you. You are always entangling me. That's not fair.

Angry impatient Mom:
Listen Mister, I want straight answers from you. You tell me where you are going, but you do not tell who will be with you. Or else you tell me you are going out with Darnell, but you do not tell me where you are going. The most I ever get from you is a vague idea of where you are going and a vague idea who is going with you.

I cannot be in two places at the same time.
Liar, I know you can.

Q. Come on, tell me. I'd like to know. Are we going to have sex tonight or are you going to have another head ache?
A. I really do not know. You will know, tonight, when you open the door to our bedroom.

Photon, listen to me. I said go though the slot on the right. You are all over the place.

Q. What is your favorite romantic song?
A. "Chances Are," sung by Johnny Mathis.

Q. Time, what is the matter with you?
A. Oh, it is one thing after another.
Q. Time, why don't you take the weekend off?
A. I can't. Otherwise, everything happens all at once.

String theory is the best. 
You have to prove it to me.
I don't have to prove it to you.
Yes, you have to.
Have not.
Have to.
Have not.
Have to.

Hyperbole and a Half: Read It (Joe)

Apropos of the recent birth of Dean's daughter -- which, if I recall, now makes two kids -- here's a hilarious illustrated story about kids frightening themselves by telling scary stories to themselves and their younger siblings.

He was Gandhi's boyfriend. (Norman Costa)

He was Gandhi's boyfriend. (Norman Costa)

Here is a very interesting take on the new biography of Mahatma Gandhi's life, by Joseph Lelyveld.  Paul Rudnick writes a humor piece in the Shouts & Murmurs column of "The New Yorker," April 11, 2011.  His column, "I Was Gandhi's Boyfriend," begins:

"I know that some people still don’t buy that Gandhi was gay, but let me tell you, from experience, Gandhi liked guys. I first met him when he came to see my ice show in Nepal, which was called “Holiday on Dirt.” Gandhi came backstage and he told me, “I very much enjoyed watching you pretend to ice-skate, in your tight pants.” I asked him, “Um, so why are you wearing a diaper?” And he explained that his outfit was a traditional Indian dhoti, and I said, “Well, you look like the New Year’s baby.” And he said, “You are so handsome when you are not speaking.""

It is certainly humor.  But who or what is the object of the humor?  Is it Gandhi?  The critics?  Is it another way of saying, "So what!"?  Or is it direspectful?  Be sure to read our own Sujatha's "Seizing the Truth," for another view on the book and the reactions in India.

Read more:

 

Fafblog on Libya (Joe)

In case you were wondering how our increasingly silent blog friend feels, here's The Medium Lobster:

But if there are several dozen things America loves, they are war, torture, genocide, chattel slavery, apartheid, ethnic cleansing, assassination, poverty, institutionalized bribery, remote-controlled flying death robots and somewhere down the list, between prison labor and lagoons of toxic pig shit, there is almost certainly a special place in our national heart for freedom.

And so it is that the United States is fighting to free the Libyan people from the Libyan people by killing the Libyan people. The situation is fairly straightforward, after all - Libya faces a humanitarian crisis, and the only way to address a humanitarian crisis is to bomb it with hundreds of cruise missiles. I'm told that the Red Cross still delivers bottled water and medical supplies by duct-taping them to the nose cone of an outgoing Tomahawk.

That's just an excerpt; click over to read the whole thing.

Xerox vs the photocopier

I don't know how to characterize this story except as a stubborn (and hilarious) philosophical debate.. That this is a real life event and tax payer funds are involved, makes it excruciating. (h/t Leo Lincourt)

CLEVELAND, Ohio -- What is a photocopier?

That seems like such a simple question.

But last year, a lawyer in a public-records case being heard by the Ohio Supreme Court had a hard time getting a $64,000-a-year Cuyahoga County worker to say whether the county recorder's office had a photocopier.

The effort consumes nearly 10 pages of a court transcript.

The overall case is about whether deeds and other records at the county recorder's office -- records that were collected and are maintained with your taxes -- should be readily available at reasonable cost.

The lawyers involved in the case say the question about the photocopier is technical, getting at an arcane point of law.

You be the judge.

For the transcript of the exchange, see here.

Lovers tiff, impending divorce or trial separation? (Omar Ali)

On the 27^th of January, while driving through Mozang (an extremely crowded section of Lahore city) in a rented Honda Civic, American citizen RaymondDavis shot two men who were riding a motorcycle.  Soon afterwards, another vehicle that was racing to (presumably) rescue Mr. Davis, ran over a third person and killed him too. These seem to be the only undisputed facts about the event.  Shortly afterwards, Pakistani TV channels showed one of the dead men with a revolver and an ammunition belt around his waist. It was also claimed that the two men were carrying several mobile phones and possible some other stolen items. But soon after the event, the story began to change. From a robbery attempt gone bad, it morphed into Mr. Davis assassinating two young men without obvious cause. Raymond’s own status was immediately in dispute and within a few days the network of websites that is thought to represent the views of Pakistan’s deep state were stating that Davis was a CIA agent, he was being tailed by the ISI and he had shot two ISI agents. They also claimed Davis was working with the “bad Taliban” to do bad things in Pakistan, while trying to spy on the “good Taliban” and other virtuous jihadist organizations like the LET.

Crônicas (narayan)

Mention of Jewish mothers on a recent post reminded me of a story so titled :

They say that four Jewish mothers got together in heaven. As they couldn't leave well enough alone, the conversation was all about their sons.
- I can't complain, said the first. My son, to this day, brings me only happiness. A saint! And on Earth, because of him, everyone just talks of charity, virtue and goodwill.
- And your son is ... ? asked the second.
- Jesus Christ! said the first. And, leaning forward, in a confidential tone, gesturing about her, The boss of all this!
- Isn't that his father?
- Welll - let's say it's in the family.
- Now, joy - it's my son who brings me joy, said the second mother. Ach, how proud I am of him. On Earth, because of him, everyone only speaks of justice, social change and the solidarity amongst men.
- What's his name?
- Karl. Karl Marx.
- Mmmm, said the others, pursing their lips.
- The shnuga, sighed the mother of Marx, recalling the name she called her baby.
- And my son? said the third mother. The professor! This would surely make any mother happy. Inteeelligent! A brain! On Earth, because of him, everyone talks of the Universe, relativity, black holes ...
- Who is he?
- Albie.
- Albie?
- Einstein!
- Aaah!
The fourth mother had nothing to say, and the other three drew around her.
- I don't want to say anything because you'll grow envious of me, she said.
- Speak!
- What a son!
- Who is he?
- A doctor.
- And what is it that he did?
- Because of him, on Earth, everyone only talks of mothers.
And the mother of Freud started smiling, leaving the other three in admiration of her.
- That's my boy!

More creative writing from Pakistan..(omar)

The recent murder of Salman Taseer and the subsequent glorification of his killer by some parties has set a few Pakistanis on the path to creative writing. A few days ago I posted a story from Ahmed Asif and today we have another Asif stepping up to the plate...may their tribe increase.

Meanwhile, yet another Asif has also taken up the topic. This one is a well known Pakistani "analyst", a retired army officer who is said to represent the views of the "deep state"....his humor may be un-intentional, but it is no less hilarious..

 

A rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar..(omar)

A rabbi discusses sperm donation..

A mullah discusses the art of wife beating…

Another Rabbi offers his opinion on women drivers..

And a pastor explains floods..

And a Pakistani peers into the future..

OK, the last one is a fantasy.

My point? Well, I have two.

1. That crazy is pretty much universal.

2. But the Middle East and Pakistan still win the race because in the “Islamic core” (Razib’s useful term), the crazy is mainstream. Its not unique, its just uniquely mainstream.

And yes, yes, I know this not the most important issue in the world.

PS: feel free to share nuggets of wisdom from your local Pandit or Monk.

 

A trip to Pakistan in 2022...(omar)

The following story was written by a friend (may be published online soon) and he agreed to share it like this.

 I dont take it as a prediction, but as an exercise in imagining what the logical consequences of certain trends could be...it wont actually happen because no trend continues in a straight line. Countervailing forces develop, the dialectic kicks in and the synthesis rarely looks like the thesis...

in any case,  if we project a different set of trends forward in time, then in the actual 2022 we may see Chinese businessmen protected by security guards pushing their way into a special "Chinese first" line at Lahore airport, while Imran Khan complains about the way Chinese interference is ruining our previously sane society (by then, Chinese drones will be bombing the tribal areas, so the Chinese will not be as well-loved as they are today).. 

 
 

Killer garlanded and showered with rose petals....(omar)

Lawyers (presumably supporters of Islamist parties) showered Mumtaz Qadri, self-confessed killer of Governor Salman Taseer, with rose petals on his first court appearance. He was also garlanded with a garland of roses.

This post can be read in conjunction with this one...the comments on the earlier post are also relevant.

 

Fame and the Writer (narayan)

The intersection of writing, fame and commerce that was the coda of Sujatha's last post triggered a memory of a crônica by Russell Baker that was included as a post script in an anthology titled "The Historian as Detective - Essays on Evidence", Robin W. Winks, Ed. Not the historian, silly! Wink, the editor, with a nudge, gives this nod to Baker, the humorist : 

"We need not take the tragedy of history so seriously as to forget our obligation to laugh as well. Perhaps the humor of history is black, a discipline of the absurd to match the world's stage on which the theater of the absurd plays to standing-room-only audiences, but the humor is there nonetheless. Let the final word here be given to a man who represents those historians of the moment, newspaper reporters, those men who give most Americans all the history they will ever read once they have left school, and all they have ever read with pleasure. Russell Baker, a columnist for The New York Times, reminds us of Carl Becker's message, that Everyman will be his own historian."

Having typed that I seem to have forgotten how it all relates to Sujatha's post, except that Baker's piece is in counterpoint to her conjecture that "maybe the freedom to write what one wishes comes after fame". In the event, humor is a reward unto itself.

"War on Christmas - Season 49, or thereabouts" (Sujatha)

Once the Thanksgiving turkey has been cleared off the table, it's not only the start of the perusal of Black Friday fliers, it's time for the restrategizing of the 'War on Christmas'.

Boroughs and municipalities all across the U.S. start putting up their carefully calibrated Holiday displays, trying to figure out the precise percentage to which they can introduce explicitly Christian imagery, and whether they need to balance it out with arguably 'secular' symbols like Santa Claus (wait, wasn't St.Nicholas supposed to be a Christian symbol, once upon a time?), reindeer, snowmen made of anything but snow, inflatable Grinches and such.

Now, fake wikileaks...(Omar)

This was bound to happen.Major Pakistani newspapers have been duped (or "made an offer they could not refuse") into printing headline stories based on false wikileaks cables that are extremely unflattering to India.  And I am not surprised that the finest intelligence agency in the world was first with this new form of communication. btw, the pro-PPP website LUBP has investigated some of the operations used to disseminate intelligence agency propaganda and their expose is worth a read too.. 

http://cafepyala.blogspot.com/2010/12/leaking-away.html