What Should We Call Them?

The Secret Service tags the politicians it protects with code names. The choice of monikers is not always entirely clear although it is supposed to reflect the personality of the owner. It is not a surprise that the names are usually flattering - some more than others. Senator Barack Obama, who among the current presidential candidates was the second person (the other being Hillary Clinton, as a former First Lady) to receive Secret Service protection, has been given the enigmatic label of "Renegade."  Here are some other examples:

• Jimmy Carter: "Deacon"
• Ronald Reagan: "Rawhide"
• George H.W. Bush: "Timberwolf"
• Bill Clinton: "Eagle"
• Hillary Clinton: "Evergreen"
• Al Gore: "Sundance"  (changed from "Sawhorse" for his supposed woodenness; there is no explanation given for "Sundance")
• George W. Bush: "Tumbler" (GWB earned his title during his father's presidential term when he was still the wild First Son. Tumbler alludes to his Jim Beam days)
• John Kerry : "Minuteman"

There are less flattering names I could come up with for some in the above bunch. But most of them are history except H. Clinton, although I would like to see Sundance back on the presidential stage. What about the current front runners of both parties in the presidential race? We know about Hillary and Obama. What names will the Secret Service assign to the rest? I have a few suggestions:

• Hillary Clinton: Switch from Evergreen to Overripe, given the exposure of the last fifteen years
• Barack Obama: Renegade is fine for now.  We know he doesn't plan to play by the rules of Mr. Nice.
• John Edwards: It has to be about his hair, looks or the unbearable lightness of being. How about "Fluff?"
• John McCain: He wants to be known as the Straight Talker but loses his cool when someone doesn't agree with him on Iraq, immigration or pretty much any thing else. Loose Cannon has a ring of authenticity.
• Mitt Romney: Don't know much about him but I am learning. An excellent manager, the guy knows how to turn on a dime on any issue from abortion to stem cell research. He is too polished to be tagged as a "Flip Flopper."  His smart and crisp political maneuvering brings to mind "U-Turn."
• Rudy Giuliani:  He would love to be known as America's Mayor. But nothing beats "Marilyn." 

Readers, other suggestions?

Comments

[Dean C. Rowan]

Guess where An Inconvenient Truth had its world premiere. All this talk of code names prompts me again to recommend Norman Mailer's Harlot's Ghost for pleasure reading.