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« Homosexuality And The Economic Climate | Main | Crying Uncle (Sujatha) »

January 13, 2010

Comments

Ruchira,

It seems Satan has taken serious objection to claims by Pat Robertson and written this letter to him:
________________________________
Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher.

The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle.

Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"?

If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing.

An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.

You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan

One of the Vodou loas has already made his claim on the Robertson soul. See this:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=190365539998&ssPageName=ADME:L:LCA:US:1123

A Fault Is Not A Sin - Hitchens' Rejoinder

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